Done with life

I'm tired.Tired of what? Tired of being me! Tired of my life!
SINGLE LIFE:You see, even though I married 12 years ago ("till death do as part"), I have become a single mother. A single mother who also works. Granted, not full time, but for the next I-don't-know-how-many-months, I am working while the kids are in school from 3-4 days per week and the regular weekends. Yes, I know there are many single mothers who work full time, pick up their kids from daycare, maybe feed them dinner, and tuck them in. Some are happy with this life. I, however am not!
WHEN THE HUSBAND SHOWS UP AT HOME: Mark started a new job almost 2 years ago. Travel was one component. His travel increased to the point that it was Monday through Friday for 6-7 weeks in a row. Then he decided he'd have AT LEAST one day per week home. That week day would be a "work from home" day - which meant he could catch up on home issues and take calls as needed. Somewhere in the past few weeks, this "great idea" has vanished. Take this past Monday for example. He agreed to drop Lauren off at school...and then would be home to catch up on a few things (aka "work from home"). I was volunteering at Mason's school to do vision screening from 8am-12. Funny thing. He went into work. Oh, yes, he did come home around 12:30. He also made a point to tell me he'd purchased himself lunch. But me, no. Why think about others? He left again for an afternoon of conference calls. Monday night, I stated I wanted to discuss future travel plans. It's very hard to do that when one is obsessed with facebook. So, at around 9pm, I said, "you know, if you stopped facebook now, you could hang up the blinds you promised to do YESTERDAY". Guess what! The blinds are still on the living room floor. And, it's not that I hate facebook altogether. It's that I hate the possibility of what could be. I don't think it's appropriate for women to send "private" messages or "gifts" to men. Apparantly, I'm the only one. See, while some are busy on facebook, trying to rack up the number of their "Friends", others of us are left at home, and are neglected. And the housework is neglected. It's just not OK. It's also not OK to show up at home for 2 days and do nothing because you are "sick" or "tired". But, for the past two weekends, that's what Mark has done. Two weekends ago, he somehow got mason to nap (because then Mark gets to nap too, while Lauren watches TV or plays on teh computer). But then after naptime, he also let them watch an entire other movie. See, I don't get that privledge. If I don't do "my chores", no one else is going to pick up after me. I've actually tested and proved this theory. In fact, Mark actually told me on one weekend to lay down and rest....that I could do those things later! 'I', not "we".
THE WEBCAM: It's a great invention. What fun it is to see the other person at their place and talk, while they can see you. What is annoying, is that the webcam is not portable. You can't be playing outside or eating breakfast or getting in the car and talk on the webcam. It's not possible. On a cell phone, yes. Webcam, NO. But, being that he WANTS to use the webcam, he chooses to call at the most inopportune times. For example, we leave at school at the same time EVERY MORNING! Why would you call then to chat? Bedtime is virtually the same time every night, so why would you call then? And, no, I'm not keeping "your kids" from you. It's a pain in the butt to wrangle them up when they are playing outside in the sun! And, I choose not to get them out of bed to talk to you when it's bedtime. Yesterday he called as we were on the way home from school (same time as always). He wanted to talk as soon as we arrived home. Problem is, is that the kids need to get their homework done. I had already promised that as soon as homework was done, they could watch High School Musical 2 (since HSM 3 comes out on Friday). There was no way, I was interrupting homework for a phone call. When we called back after homework, guess what! He wasn't available. So, I kept my end of the promise and let them watch the movie. He called mid-movie to talk again. Neither kiddo wanted to get up from their seats (aside from when they were dancing). Then, he called back after bed time. Seriously - use a clock! Well, we called this morning, but guess what. He wasn't available. I guess the moral is, for those of us who do NOTHING (like me), we should drop everything to talk via webcam.
NOTHING: Let me tell you about the "nothingness" of my days. Where to start (since there is so little to discuss). Let's just discuss this current week.
Monday - Fix lunches; take Mason to school; volunteer from 8-12 at Mason's school for vision screening; come home and change sheets and clean both kids rooms; get call from Lauren's school nurse and talk to Lauren about an injury; email mason's teachers about his performance; pick up Mason; pick up Lauren & Thornley from school; drop Thorns off; sit down for 40 minutes with kids as they do homework; take Lauren to/from a birthday party; mop kitchen floor; do some congregational care work.
Tuesday - Fix breakfast; fix lunches; drop off Mason at school; drive carpool to Lauren's school; go to ENT; have CT scan of sinuses; come home; change my sheets; clean bathroom; start dinner (crock pot); clean laundry room (Mark's job - but he refuses to actually clean all the lint balls off the floor); go to the gym to work out with Michelle; pick up Mason; drive carpool home; do homework with both kids; assist Mason with thank you notes from his birthday (oh, yeah, to Mark's parents); open scholastic box; divide all books for Lauren's classmates in separate bags; pack Lauren's halloween outfit (for girl scout party on Wednesday); mop kitchen floor again (spaghetti spill); tuck kids in; pack up Mason's swimming stuff (for Wednesday); do more congregational care work; empty garbages (Mark's job - he likes to "forget" some); take all 3 garbage dumpsters to the street.
Today - Fix breakfast; fix lunches; drop Mason off at school; take Lauren to the twins house (their day for carpool); go to work; pick up Mason; take him to swimming; eat lunch (yogurt); come home; play outside with Mason; bring garbage cans back from street; clean outside toy bin; sweep a little; pick up dog poop from outside; go to girl scouts; watch their performance; come home; do homework with kids; play outside with kids; clean up; take Lauren to kids choir; put Mason in bath; receive call that Lauren is injured and needs to come home; get mason out of bath and race to church; bring Lauren home; tend to her; tuck kids in; clean pantry floor; type my "angry" blog. Oh, yes, and in the midst of this "nothing-ness", feed the dog; help Mason with occupational therapy homework; adapt Mason's homework for him; reply to emails from his therapists, teachers, etc. And, that's just a synopsis. There are so many other things that I just do routinely (Laundry on a daily basis, straightening up, etc).
So, that sums it up. I'm tired. I'm mad. And, well, the next week will be exactly the same as this! Me and the kids.