Sleep

Sleep. It's important. It's necessary. I need it...and lots of it. So, let me reflect upon the "non"-sleep I had last night. The dog woke me somewhere around 2am (I'm guessing). She came in the room, came to my side of the bed, then left. I turned over and went back to sleep for a few minutes. Next thing I know, it's 2:19am and I hear noises coming from Mason's room. I stumble out of bed and walk into the hall. I can see light coming thru the bottom of his door. Upon entering the room, I find the light is on. Next I notice his curtains are open. I figure he climbed on the rocking chair to pull the string to open the shades. He's happily playing with toys. I, on the other hand, am not so happy. I close the shades, physically remove the light bulb from the ceiling, and tuck him back in. I have no idea how long he was up for, as the light bulb was hot to touch.

I was awakened again around 5am to a noisy, playing Mason. This time I catch him in the act of trying to open his curtains. He is standing with one foot on the rocking chair and the other on the arm of the rocking chair, reaching the pull on the shades. UGH.

Let me backtrack a bit. His overhead light was removed probably over a year or more ago. I HATED finding him playing at completely unacceptable hours of the night...with the light on. From time to time we replace it and "try again". It lasts around 2 days and then I take it out again. Last week, he lost his table lamp. Why, you might ask? For the same reason. I would walk into the room and notice the rocking chair had been scooted next to his changing table. By reasoning alone, I figured he moved the rocking chair to climb on the changing table, to turn on the light. Quite creative I might say. But, quite annoying at the same time!

So, once again, there is NO light in his room and I'm on my way to Starbucks for a triple!

7

7 is the number of weeks my husband has been out of town for...in a row! Let me say that again. My husband has been out of town for the past 7 weeks in a row! He would usually leave on a Sunday night or Monday and return on Friday. Occasionally that varied. He was home one Thursday night here a few weeks ago - but he slept at the Sleep Disorders Clinic to be tested for sleep apnea. A few weekends out of the past 7, we weren't even in the same vacinity. One weekend I was with our son in the hospital. Last weekend I was in Dallas (with my sister & her kids). A few Saturdays I was working. Etc. etc. etc.

So, this morning Mark and I spent some quality time together (after being gone for the past 7 weeks, except for the weekends). At the doctor. At his doctor. The "sleep doctor". The funny thing, is that Mark didn't think I'd be joining him. I gave him the "great news" that I was coming along yesterday.

The conversation went something like this (this is the abbreviated version):

Me-I'm coming to the doctor with you.

Him-No you're not. What are you doing with the kids

Me-Well, yes I am. The kids are going to my parents.

Him- I didn't invite you.

Me- I don't need to be invited. Isn't that nice?
Him- Why are you coming?

Me- To see what the doctor has to say. The good thing about married is I GET to come with you!! Case closed

Anyway, the appointment was quite interesting. During the sleep study they look at eye movement, respirations, brain waves (to determine the cycle of sleep), pulse, leg movement, etc. The doctor showed us all those segments and explained each one. The conclusion is (as I predicted) that he has sleep apnea. Not just sleep apnea. But, as the doctor said, "SEVERE sleep apnea". He stops breathing approximately 54 times per hour. So, for a few seconds every minute. Good news is that he will soon be the proud owner of a CPAP machine! Even better news, is that he'll have far less bruises from hits, kicks, & elbowing from me trying to stop him from snoring in the middle of the night! And, the best news of all: The CPAP machine will help him sleep better. Which means, he'll take less naps, have a better memory, etc. (And his risk of hypertension, heart attack, stroke, and car accidents will also decrease). I can't wait for our romantic evenings in bed...with him and his mask.

Just to remind you again, this week is Mark's first full week home in SEVEN WEEKS! It is also mid-winter break. So, the kids are here all week. The good news is that we've had 2 beautifully sunny days. The other good thing is that my sister and her 3 year old and 8 week old are up visiting - which means we have built in play dates. Yesterday morning we hit the mall for a sale. Yesterday afternoon we went to the park. Today it was the zoo. Tomorrow, who knows?

216

216. What is 216? That is the number of hours I have been continuously with Mason, taking care of him while he was sick. Morning, noon, night, and middle of the night. 216 hours. That is 12,960 minutes without the ability to be by myself or go anywhere other than the doctor's office or hospital. I'd like to say nap time I could be by myself. But I really couldn't. "Nap" time on steroids equals about 20 minutes. Less than that if you check on Mason every time his pulse oximeter alarms.

Some may say that 216 hours is not much. Perhaps they are with their children even longer than that without a break. Last summer my friend Meghan endured 21 days with her kids. Her somewhat saving grace, is she was able to be "in public", have playdates, go out to eat in restaurants, etc. Not so for us. Quarantine means just that. Stuck at home, unable to have playdates, be "in public", go out to eat, etc. (unless you count the drive through Starbucks). Others may say, 216 hours "oh that's a LONG time". Those are the moms who have time to themselves daily or every few days. To those, I say, congratulations. I hope you are saner than me.

What did I do with my "free time"? I drove 20 minutes to Lauren's school and waited 30 minutes in the lot to pick her up. We then had an outing. Where? Let me tell you where. The only place I have frequented in the past 2 weeks. The doctor!!!! Luckily, this was a "well check". But, yes, my 50 minutes of "free time" (in the past 12,960 minutes) was spent waiting for my other child....to take her to the doctor.

Let it snow

Being that I was housebound with sickly Mason anyway....the snow was a welcome sight this morning! I saw the snow coming down at an early hour (3:30am when I was awake giving Mason another breathing treatment). It was beautiful. I was shocked this morning when I woke to 1+ inch on the ground. And, I was more shocked that school was actually cancelled, versus delayed. Either way, I was homebound with Mason, and today with Lauren too.
Once the snowplow and sanding truck did their jobs on the main road, it was time to hit the drive thru Starbucks. Yeah!

Now, I must backtrack a bit. My last post was a rather irate post towards my husband. I now feel convicted that I must sing a few of his praises. Last week Mason was hospitalized while Mark was out of town. He offered to cut short his business trip and return home, but Lauren was taken care of and Mason & I were stuck at the hospital. My parents, and Meghan were a tremendous help. Anyway, once Mark returned, he offered to stay at Children's, which I too declined. For me, I just have to be there. However, he brought in coffee in the mornings. He brought in lunch or dinner (from wherever I requested). He toted bags of dirty laundry home to wash, and brought me whatever items I needed. He was a great help. When we were told Mason would be discharged on Sunday afternoon, he scurried home and cleaned the ENTIRE house; changed all the sheets; etc. He even picked up dinner last night so I didn't have to cook.

I'm too busy to talk now

Just a follow up to my earlier post. I call the husband to ask where the checkbook is. Lauren's school book order is due tomorrow. He promised her she could order this month. Since he's been "unavailable" at home, I placed the book order in his section of the desk, where he places all the bills. In the few moments he was home and napping last weekend, he didn't have a chance to look through it & didn't see the book order. Well, guess what? He has the checkbook with him. I have asked on MORE than one occasion, to please leave the checkbook at home for these kind of issues. So, as I ask him for the checkbook & to discuss it, he says "can't we discuss this later. I'm downstairs in the hotel having a glass of wine".

A few reasons I do not work out

As we all know, January is a big month for resolutions. Pretty much every year, mine is to get back to the gym (or at least take a walk). It's now January 21st. I've gone to the gym twice. So much for my resolution.

My dear sweet husband has been traveling - which limits my "non-child" time. Let me just shed some light on the degree of travel - and when I say "week", I am speaking of Monday thru Friday. My "free" time would be M,T, Th, and F from 9:05-11:15 (while Mason is in school). Wednesday's Mason has no school & I watch Jack.

January

Week 1: 50% - January 1st was a holiday; Friday was my "free day"; I worked on Saturday

Week 2: 80% - I worked Monday,Tuesday, had a meeting on Thursday, and "free" on Friday. I was in Texas with Lauren from Saturday until Monday night

Week 3: 80% - Mark was "mandated" to be home Monday, as I was out of town. Tuesday, Mason had no school due to ice; Thursday I worked; Friday I worked and Mark's dad came into town for Lauren's birthday weekend.

Week 4: 100% - January 21st was a holiday. I work on Tuesday, Thursday, and have Friday "free". I also work on Saturday.

Upcoming trips:

January Week 5: 80% (next week) - Mark was "mandated" to be home by Thursday night, as it's Kindergarten orientation. I work on Monday, Tuesday, & Thursday. Friday is "free".

February Week 1: 100% - I work on Monday; have my own doctor's appointment on Tuesday; have Thursday "free"; and get my haircut on Friday morning (rescheduled from an evening appointment - since I'd have to pay a sitter). Work on Saturday.

February Week 2: 60% - "Free" Monday & Tuesday; work Thursday & Friday

Needless to say, with all my "free time", the last thing I want to do is go to the gym. After all, who else will do the laundry, run the other errands, grocery shop, etc?! I have approximately 2.25 hours to myself once a week. Even on the weekends, he's able to "fit in" a nap. I'd LOVE a nap. However, as I've been told, I can catch up on my stuff when I wake up from my nap. What sense is there in me taking time for a nap, if the workload would just accumulate while I was sleeping?

I suppose the good news in all of this, is I get the bed to myself for the majority of the time. Unfortunately, when Mark comes home, I no longer sleep well. Why? Oh, because of the earth-shaking snoring. Yes, he's seen the ENT. But, no, he hasn't scheduled the sleep study yet. Why again? Because he's gone too much. So, when he comes home and falls asleep as soon as he's in bed, the jet-engine motor (a.k.a. the snore) begins. Apparantly, as he was leaving at some awful hour this morning and said goodbye, I mumbled "I'm mad at you". I didn't even recall saying that, but when I was conscious some 2 hours later, he reminded me. The reason I was mad, was due to the snoring! I don't know if I was even able to have 1-2 consecutive hours of sleep last night.

Anyhoo - these are the reasons I'm continuing to let myself fall further and further apart. I have NO time! And, yes, I actually do enjoy going to the gym. But, again, what point is there in going if no one else is going to help with all the household chores, events, errands, etc?

Poor Mark

After Mark left last night, I received a call from a relative who took pity (and I quote) on "Poor Mark" - for his having to travel last minute. So, here are my top 10 reasons on why I don't truly see it as "Poor Mark".

10. He is able to stay in a hotel where someone else makes your bed.

9. He is able to go out to eat wherever he wants.

8. He is able to eat his meals as slowly as he wants, with the benefit of not preparing someone else's food; not listening to whining about the food; not cutting someone else's food; or having to share his food.

7. He does not have to do any housework at home.

6. He is able to fly on an airplane with none of his family, and is able to read, sleep, or watch a movie in peace.

5. He is able to take a shower without small children barging in to say "hi".

4. He is able to urinate in private.

3. He is able to drive in a new rental car and listen to the music he wants to listen to.

2. After work, he can watch TV all night long and not tuck anyone in.

And the number one reason I don't see it as "Poor Mark": He is able to poop in peace!